LeBron-O-Mania

Tonight's the night.

Talking heads and typing fingers have been obsessing over where LeBron James will play for the 2010-2011 season for years now.

And thanks to the wonders of ESPN and King James' ego, we get an hour-long special dedicated to watching him make his final decision, much like some high school athletes do when committing to a college.

Will there be hats involved? I kinda want to see hats. The entire hour can be spent watching LeBron move as if to put on a Chicago Bulls hat, only to put it back down and reach for the Cleveland Cavaliers hat, then pick up the Miami Heat hat, over and over. It'd be riveting.

ESPN columnist Bill Simmons has given his take on the situation, and he essentially believes LeBron will end up in Miami with Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade.

Here's my breakdown of where he may end up and what the end result would likely be:

1. New York Knicks: The franchise is cursed with bad management. Sure, they already got Amar'e Stoudamire to sign with the Knicks, but Stat doesn't play great defense and I don't trust him in the playoffs. If LeBron goes here, he fails to win a championship anytime soon.

2. Miami: Assuming he signs with Bosh and Wade, this team wins, and wins fast. I don't care that the Heat would have little to no money to sign any great role players; the Lakers won it all with Derek Fisher and Sasha Vujacic as their role players a month ago, for heaven's sakes. I imagine a few veterans would be interested in joining this team for peanuts because it screams "RING!" I also don't buy the argument that LeBron and Wade each need the ball in their hands to be happy; both guys average around 7 assists per game. And are you telling me LeBron wouldn't love being able to move without the ball and catch passes in great positions to score? He's been playing "LeBron vs. Everyone" ball for years now and I can imagine he's tired of it. Which brings me to

3. Cleveland: No way, Jose. If I'm LeBron, I ditch this franchise. They have had seven years to give him a decent supporting cast, and the best they could do was sign Mo Williams and Antawn Jamison. That is just sad. The only All-Star LeBron has ever played with is the aforementioned Mo, and we all know that selection was a joke. Also, if I am a Cleveland fan, I completely understand if he ends up leaving. I would blame the Cavs management long before I got angry with LeBron. Similar to how I will be much more angry with the Jazz management than with Deron Williams when he ends up signing with the Lakers in a couple years.

4. Chicago: This one makes a lot of sense, especially considering Boozer is heading there (good riddance). A starting lineup of Derrick Rose, Luol Deng, LeBron, Boozer and Joakim Noah is pretty darn attractive. Sure, that frontcourt is undersized, but Noah's defensive ability and intensity might be enough to offset Boozer's complete lack of interest on that side of the floor. And they would score. This isn't as much of a slam dunk as Miami would be, but I like this team to win a championship in the next three years.

Personally, here are the two things I'd like to see as a result of this offseason:

1. LeBron needs to end up with at least one legit All-Star as a teammate. I get sick of people ragging on him for not winning, as if anyone else in league history was winning rings with complete scrubs as teammates. Pau Gasol and Ron Artest saved Kobe's bacon in Game 7 of the Finals last month, and every other great to play the game has similar experiences with their lesser, yet very talented, teammates.

2. A team needs to be assembled that can challenge the Lakers. I hate L.A. with a fiery passion these days, and if this all shakes out to where no one team has the talent needed to beat the purple and gold, I will be very upset.

My prediction? I think LeBron goes to Miami. All the talk about how his ego couldn't handle it.... meh. If he wants a ring, he makes that move. No one says Magic was no good because he played next to Kareem and Worthy. No one discounts Larry Bird because he had Kevin McHale and Robert Parrish. And no one says Wade is a subpar player because he won his ring with Shaq.

Get it done, LeBron. Silence your haters and and crush Kobe's hopes of getting a sixth ring forever, and you and I will both be happy.