Dave Barry is my hero.
I've been reading his columns since I was about eight years old, and I love his writing. When I grow up I hope to be as good as he is.
Sadly, he stopped writing weekly columns four years ago and all we get now are his "Year in Review" articles and the odd book.
So here is this year's review.
Some of my favorite parts:
-In other economic news, retailers report strong holiday sales although shoppers remain wary of Chinese-manufactured toys after a Tennessee Wal-Mart is leveled by what an investigator describes as "the worst Polly Pockets explosion I have ever seen."
-Upon taking power, the Democrats, who campaigned vigorously against the war in Iraq, and who hailed their victory as a clear voter mandate to get the troops out of Iraq, immediately get down to the business of being careful to not do anything that might actually result in the removal of troops from Iraq, in case that might turn out to be a bad idea.
-In sports, a Los Angeles team signs glamorous British soccer star David Beckham to a $250 million contract. This raises eyebrows, both because of the amount of money, and because the team is the Dodgers. But Beckham's glamorous presence quickly boosts ticket sales; within days the Lakers sign Angelina Jolie.
Love this guy.