16 December 2007

Pet peeve

I like to think I don't get riled up easily. There aren't many things that can set me off.

But parents who give their kids stupid names sure do.

This includes parents who name their kids dumb stuff like Oranjello and Lemonjello or Espn or Velveeta, as well as kids who are given creatively-spelled names like "Mikheael" or "Kathrin."

Or a name I saw a few days ago, "Ahslee."

Come on, parents. I know some of you think you're giving your kids unique names; a way for them to stand out from the crowd, but really you're giving them a lifetime of mockery from the public at large.

It's hard enough being a teenager; imagine going through high school with a name like Aquanetta.

So knock it off, mom and dad. I realize that new names become accepted as they are given to thousands of babies over a long period of time, but you can't all be trendsetters.

Stick with Tyler and Heather and James and Christopher and Yolanda.

Your children will never know of your kindness, but the best charitable acts are the ones that go unrecognized.



Anonymous said...

So true. The whole "Ahslee" one isn't creative naming; it's just plain dyslexia.

Anna said...

you know what's a good name...Owen. Have you considered naming your baby Owen?

Anonymous said...

As I recall, the Orangejello and Lemonjello names are urban legends. Every one claims to have known someone named these horrendous names, but no one can ever produce actual people named them.

The best people to ask about horrible names are labor & delivery/post-partum nurses. I've been told about names like Mista (Sir's younger brother mind you), and Jandler (pronounced Chandler--or so the mother insisted). People don't seem to realize that spelling your child's name wrong does not make him or her unique, nor does inventing names off the top of your head. It only proves what an idiotic parents your child has.

Brandon said...

After a quick Google search, it became apparent that initially, at least, the Oranjello and Lemonjello kids were a myth.

But who's to say not one of the 300 million people in the U.S. have that name? There are plenty of parents who are dumb enough to hear the name Oranjello and think it's a great name for their kid.

It's difficult to prove a negative.


Anonymous said...

Pfftt. Difficult isn't impossible.